It has been a while and I have been keeping mostly out of mischief.
Just thought I would post after hearing a old joke retold differently so that it just wasn't funny -or is that because I know the joke and the substitution didn't sit well with me.
The infamous sausage joke was substituted with two muffins in an oven (
this blog about the muffin joke is rather amusing esp the comments and the rationale of the humour behind the joke -sad! but so is my post. I pinched the jokes below from the people's comments although I had heard most of them before). I just don't find muffin as funny as sausage but that may be because that's how I first heard it. In case you haven't heard it here is the version I knew:
Two sausages in a fry pan
One sausage turns to the other and says:
"Crap it's hot in here"
The other sausage replies:
"Ahhh a talking sausage"
Doing a few google searches I found many versions. One version starts with one sausage in the pan and a second is thrown in and says the first line. Quite a number of people seem to prefer the muffin to the sausage. On further searching I found another childhood joke with a different substitution (ah the fun memories of shouting CHICKEN at unsuspecting people... it doesn't work as well written down, oh well):
“How do you sell a deaf man a dog?”
“I don’t know”
You shout: “DO YOU WANT TO BUY A DOG?!”
Bottom line is though, as soon as you discuss and dissect the joke it looses it's humour, unless the analysis is over-the-top adding to the silliness.
While searching the internet here are a few more jokes that gave me a smile or caused a chuckle:
Two cows standing in a field.
A car drives past.
One cow says “mooooo!”
The second cow turns to the first and says,
“Bastard! I was going to say that!”
Two cows are sitting in a field. One cow says to the other “Have you heard about this Mad Cow’s disease that has been going around?” and the second cow replies “Really? How awful! Thank goodness I’m a helicopter”.
What do an elephant and an ant have in common?
I don’t know.
They both start with the letter “A”.
Hey, “elephant” does not start with “A”!
Ah, but my elephant’s name is Albert.
Q: How do you get an elephant out of a tree?
A: You throw a fridge at it!
Q: How do you stop a turtle from running away?
A: You put a fridge on its head.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wasa...bi?
How do you shoot a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun.
How do you shoot a pink elephant?
Hold its nose until turns blue, and then shoot it with the blue elephant gun
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh
What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Dam!
[Some of these just shouldn't make me laugh but once I have started...]
What do you call a guy who lets everyone walk all over him?
Mat.
What do you call the swimmer with no legs?
Bob.
[It made me smile to see the following old classic quoted by someone else]
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
[And another of the same ilk which was new to me]
Q: what’s green and has four wheels ?
A: grass, I lied about the wheels
[I am the first to admit that I absolutely suck at telling jokes however I told the next set to a bunch o 'mericans and they cacked themselves. I was surprised it went down so well and couldn't believe they hadn't heard them before. They really aren't that funny but as G once told me perhaps the fact they had been drinking helped -thanks for the vote of confidence love!]
What do you call a deer with no eyes
No eye deer
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs
Still no eye deer
Oh oh I have to stop...
Okay so mood really can make or break a joke and I am in a silly mood.
To end, here's a funny pic from our drive Las Vegas to Zion: