Good time as any to laugh

It has been a while and I have been keeping mostly out of mischief.

Just thought I would post after hearing a old joke retold differently so that it just wasn't funny -or is that because I know the joke and the substitution didn't sit well with me.

The infamous sausage joke was substituted with two muffins in an oven (this blog about the muffin joke is rather amusing esp the comments and the rationale of the humour behind the joke -sad! but so is my post. I pinched the jokes below from the people's comments although I had heard most of them before). I just don't find muffin as funny as sausage but that may be because that's how I first heard it. In case you haven't heard it here is the version I knew:

Two sausages in a fry pan
One sausage turns to the other and says:
"Crap it's hot in here"
The other sausage replies:
"Ahhh a talking sausage"

Doing a few google searches I found many versions. One version starts with one sausage in the pan and a second is thrown in and says the first line. Quite a number of people seem to prefer the muffin to the sausage. On further searching I found another childhood joke with a different substitution (ah the fun memories of shouting CHICKEN at unsuspecting people... it doesn't work as well written down, oh well):

“How do you sell a deaf man a dog?”
“I don’t know”
You shout: “DO YOU WANT TO BUY A DOG?!”


Bottom line is though, as soon as you discuss and dissect the joke it looses it's humour, unless the analysis is over-the-top adding to the silliness.

While searching the internet here are a few more jokes that gave me a smile or caused a chuckle:


Two cows standing in a field.
A car drives past.
One cow says “mooooo!”
The second cow turns to the first and says,
“Bastard! I was going to say that!”


Two cows are sitting in a field. One cow says to the other “Have you heard about this Mad Cow’s disease that has been going around?” and the second cow replies “Really? How awful! Thank goodness I’m a helicopter”.


What do an elephant and an ant have in common?
I don’t know.
They both start with the letter “A”.
Hey, “elephant” does not start with “A”!
Ah, but my elephant’s name is Albert.


Q: How do you get an elephant out of a tree?
A: You throw a fridge at it!

Q: How do you stop a turtle from running away?
A: You put a fridge on its head.


What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wasa...bi?



How do you shoot a blue elephant?
With a blue elephant gun.

How do you shoot a pink elephant?
Hold its nose until turns blue, and then shoot it with the blue elephant gun



What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh


What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Dam!


[Some of these just shouldn't make me laugh but once I have started...]

What do you call a guy who lets everyone walk all over him?
Mat.

What do you call the swimmer with no legs?
Bob.


[It made me smile to see the following old classic quoted by someone else]
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.

[And another of the same ilk which was new to me]
Q: what’s green and has four wheels ?
A: grass, I lied about the wheels


[I am the first to admit that I absolutely suck at telling jokes however I told the next set to a bunch o 'mericans and they cacked themselves. I was surprised it went down so well and couldn't believe they hadn't heard them before. They really aren't that funny but as G once told me perhaps the fact they had been drinking helped -thanks for the vote of confidence love!]

What do you call a deer with no eyes
No eye deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs
Still no eye deer


Oh oh I have to stop...
Okay so mood really can make or break a joke and I am in a silly mood.
To end, here's a funny pic from our drive Las Vegas to Zion:

Rollercoaster

Oh my,
So many things happening. Last week was a bad week.

-Step-Dad extremely ill (Mum nearly called me to come home thinking he wouldn't make it). He is now improving.

-I had a computer virus and so had my lappie wiped and operating system reinstalled (BIG thanks to G instructing over the phone...).

-The long awaited results of my fellowship application came last week. I have been stressing over this to the point of making myself sick. Thoughts of "when am I coming home...?" and "how much do I really want to go through with this after all...?" have been in my head for quite a few months. I applied for this fellowship back in August but many things have changed. I had kind of decided to myself that if I didn't get the fellowship, which is my salary for three years, I would definitely come home (a sign or something). My boss didn't think I would get it because in December someone published results along the lines of what we proposed. I also thought that once I have the result maybe I would have a better idea of what to do. Well I actually got it. Instead of being very excited and happy, I actually cried (lots of that happened last week). It didn't make anything clearer, it made it harder. I don't know why I thought it would make it easer. I know I really don't want to be here that long, but it is a huge thing to give up. Money is extremely hard to get and competition is fierce (in the US and Australia). It is the fourth application I have submitted. The work I am doing is very novel and exciting (helping to understand breast development and also breast cancer), and I know how good the teaching environment and experience is, but, I am forever homesick. Also with the recent development of my Step-Dad makes me want to be a bit closer to home. I have exhausted my, G's, JD's, and BT's brains (many thanks guys!) going over the options trying to help come up with the right thing for me (us, I should say-- G is in this too) to do. I have yet to talk to my boss about it (She has been in Ireland and is back tomorrow). Ultimately G and I want to be together. But I am not sure if I want that to be here. Although the research possibilities and training are great and people wonderful, the pay and benefits are definitely not -officially no hols, sick leave, maternity leave or super for the first few years while I am a postdoc, or as they like to call it "in training" (but don't get me started on that). If I take the fellowship it will mean a pay rise but not by much. I actually have typed up my thoughts on this but never posted it to the blog wondering if it was too personal and dreary for people to read. This is a some what shortened version...

-Finally USA tax was due. I had refilled out my form after the death and resurrection of my lappie only to have the printer cease to work. More stressing about deadlines and closing time of the post-office, I filled the bloody thing out by hand. All to find that my huge return will be a whopping $9. SO NOT WORTH IT!!!! I get home to find a UPS package at the front office and it is Easter choccie from Mum -mmm Lindt gold bunny (and he arrived not melted or squashed!). Just what I really need right now.

Here is the sign at the base of the first chair lift at Taos ski village, New Mexico, where G and I went for a weekend while he was here. I loved it (the sign and the skiing)! When you first arrive all you can see is this sheer cliff of doom, rocks and moguls. The quickest way down is all extreme black level runs. This sign is to put you at ease that yes there are easier runs further up the mountain and another much easier way down.

Babies everywhere...

I just had to post this when I saw it. I know there is a tonne of stuff on YouTube (and loads of baby related stuff... sigh) -which is why I usually don't hang out there much but wait for people to find the funny stuff, however this one came up randomly has anyone seen it? I giggled. Ah toilet humour. It seems the baby trend has spread here. Two women in my lab are preggers (one with twins). Babies everywhere...




Oh and this is cute too... (I am not clucky...)


Ok enough, now I really have to go to bed. Have to get up early to chat to G (stupid computer viruses infecting work computer. Lucky me I get a brand new virus grrr)

Easter Weekend

So much to say not enough time!! Hope everyone had a great weekend where ever you were.

This weekend I helped doggie sit Miss Fliss' two lil monsters. They mostly behaved themselves, mostly. I had to laugh when N and I were walking the dogs, Jack did number 2's while N was walking him (N was rather unimpressed about having to clean up after him -N's not too fond of germs). Next time I walked Jack and it was Penny's turn to play up. She attacked another dog twice her size, bitting it on the nose, then she wriggled free of her collar and ran. Poor N wasn't having much luck.

On Sunday we drove out to Chinatown (45 min drive along Holcome* for those few who now have visited me and know this road**). Houston's Chinatown is nothing like any other Chinatown I have been to. As usual for Houston, everything was very spread out, single story and spacious, stretching for miles. Not many trees, lots of concrete. We were on a mission to try out an Indonesian restaurant that was supposedly the best in Houston (it would want to be for driving that far just for lunch). The restaurant was actually Chinese but also had Indonesian food however we had to request that menu. We sat down next to the fish tank, like all good Chinese/Indonesian restaurants have, only to note one of the gold fish floating upside down. Our distress was picked up by a neighbouring customer who remarked that that fish just like swimming upside down. At first I thought the man was trying to be nice to us, like you might to a 3 year old to prevent them getting upset, but no the fish was alive and actually did swim upside down. The end result was the food was yummy and the fish a constant conversation point but I wont really go back, as there are plenty of nice restaurants that are 5 mins away with no distracting talented fish.

On the way home we stopped by Hong Kong Market, a gigantic supermarket where N and I were the only non-Asians in the whole complex. I was very excited as I had been to a similar supermarket last year (also a long way from my place) and found tins of Thai curry and other delectable foods that I miss from home and aren't available in regular supermarkets in Houston. This time the best find was dum dum dah... a jar of Patak's Butter Chicken. I had completely given up hope of ever seeing this in Houston. I had even gone so far as to make my own Butter Chicken (love my recipe!). I also was able to stock up on Lychee jelly shots mmmm and grabbed a pack of the new Mango jelly shots yum!

Talking of dogs earlier, I was sent this from one of the students in my lab. It's so great!! At first I thought oh someone has put a dog on a skateboard and pushed, but no this is a clever doggie!!




*Yes it is a very long road (like most in Houston) and although there are a few name changes along the way we never actually made any turns except for left onto Holcome from my street and a right into the carpark of the restaurant.

**I often mention how Houston has an inner loop (610 freeway) and an outer loop (beltway 8). I live inside the inner loop. I was always told that mostly you want to stay inside the inner loop as it is another world outstide the 610. Actually it really depends on the area as there are some ok areas outside the loop but I digress. To get back to my point on how far we drove we were outside the outer loop, out near Beltway 6. Even I have not been that far except when leaving Houston for another fine city elsewhere.

Anniversary

Happy Anniversary to us...
Yes we reached the big 10 yrs mark. Going on the lovely time we had together over the last 5 weeks there will be many more! It was great to spend a longer time together (more than my fleeting trips home allow for) confirming that nothing has changed and feelings are still as strong as they ever were, even with such a separation.

We went on so many short trips while G was here. Skiing at Taos in New Mexico, hiking in Zion National Park in Utah, a weekend in San Antonio and Austin, and a daytrip to Brazos Bend State Park south of Houston to see the wild alligators. It went so fast but at the same time things we did in the first week seem so long ago such as the pub/bar crawl through Montrose the day G arrived (he was awake for near 40 hrs straight and drank like a trooper -everyone was impressed, certainly a great way to win people over!!).

Here's a pic of us at the top of Angel's Landing at Zion. While definitely worth the view, it was a risky climb up the narrow knife edge cliff due to wind and scattered slippery ice and snow covering the path. There was a very long drop to the bottom and the only thing securing you is your death grip on the lengths of chain bolted into the rock. FUN! I was very grateful we had our gloves as the wind and temperature froze your fingers making holding on to the chain harder. I felt for the people who were gloveless (and beanieless for that matter!).

It's a Beaver!

Actually this is a new blog. For personal reasons I wont bore you with, I have abandoned the old Blog (it is still there as I want to keep some of the posts). Here is a shiny new one. I have missed sharing my adventures and there have been many since last Nov. I know I wasn't terribly faithful at posting but those personal reasons turned me off writing to my old Blog altogether.

The other excuse for taking so long to create a new one is that G was here and he was just too much of a distraction! Lots of trips away. We did and saw loads of stuff but more of that later.

The title of this entry was from a sign that G and I saw on the way to San Antonio near the accurately described town of Flatonia. Ah Texas has great names...
Anyway here's the sign:

It is actually advertising a resturant called Buc-ee's which we found out later after much tittering.