Friday, August 10, 2007

Yes I am a live, kinda

Wow there goes that month, but I really would like to know where it went... Why have I been quiet on the blog front this time? I am just trying to live through every day like everyone else. No apologies, but a warning. This is a bit of a Wah post.

It's all sinking in that I am leaving here at the end of the year (Jan at the latest). Work has started piling up. Some of my experiments take 3 months and I have to carefully use the time I have left. I am freaking out a bit that I just wont get things finished. I knew this was always going to be the case but reality is a different place. Just to give me more pressure, my boss has requested the paper I was going to write up before I left, be finished in October. That's two months away. I'll have to make do with what I have. I had planned to fit in another 3-month-er experiment in before then. Hope it will be okay without it. I also have a student starting in September that I'll have to supervise, and the new person who will take over my project to train. The reason the paper is now to be written by October is because my boss wants me to write another in Dec. I am also being constantly called on to look at/reanalyse/repeat experiments from the person I replaced so that paper can be written up (thankfully by my boss). Somewhere in there I have to find time to do my own experiments and wrap things up in some sort of sensible way so the work can be continued. I _really_ don't want a repeat of what happened when I left my last job. At least I am thinking about all these things now rather than at the end of November. However, I do need to learn how to say "No" a few more times!

I wont go into the stress my mum has added on top of all this with her super-helpful, super-organising mode she currently is in. Helping me to smoothly get out of Houston, "helping" with the wedding... (I know someone has to seeing I can't easily do it from here and manage all that is happening here). I am finding it all too much. I am barely keeping my head above the surface. Hence the silence. I just can't keep up with everything. I also know it is going to get worse before it gets better. Talking with people at work has helped a bit as it serves as a reminder that everyone has problems and pressures to cope with. Puts things in perspective. Venting also makes me feel better. But I am still waking up during the night and then finally giving up on pretending to sleep by 5 am and getting up to find something to do (talk to G if he is around). I usually wake up when the sun comes into my bedroom. But its definitely still dark at 5 am. I am the only cause. I just can't switch my brain off. Stupid brain. Just too much going on.

1 comment:

Mz. B.Trousers said...

We're here too, if you want to talk to us. Or, I should say, me.
Get the work done. Do the stuff. But don't kill yourself over it, and take breaks. Little ones.

I'm glad you've actually said that you are busy. It's hard to know what's going on when I never see you around.